Perverting Manly Friendship

Tim Challies writes on how the perversion of sexuality in America, particularly our culture’s acceptance of homosexuality, has harmed the state of manly friendships. He closes:

The proof that Abraham Lincoln and Joshua Speed did not have a homosexual relationship is in the very fact that they unashamedly wrote about their love and regard for one another. In a more innocent age they had nothing to prove and nothing to hide. They were able to be friends – close, loving, intimate friends – without bearing the burden of perverse assumptions. Their heterosexuality, their normalcy, was assumed. We make no such assumption today.

My mother has often remarked that men, and Christian men in particular, go through life lonely – forsaken by other men who should be their friends. And I think she is right. I wonder if we, too, bear the burden of perverse assumptions. Maybe we, too, from our early days feel the need to prove that we are not homosexual. And we do this by fleeing emotional or spiritual intimacy with other men, assuming that such relationships are unworthy of men – real men.

The societal prevalence of homosexuality is not going to lessen anytime soon. While Christians must continue to insist that homosexuality cannot be reconciled with Scripture (and you may like to read Dr. Mohler’s book to learn more about why this is the case) we must also not allow it to usurp friendship and to reframe the way we, as Christians, and Christian men, view and understand friendship. We have far too much to lose.

Sad to say, but I’d absolutely agree with Challies’ conclusion. I’ve had family members and close friends question the depth of some of my male friendships, and it always seems bitter, odd, and – as Challies says – perverse. It’s rather the definition of perverse that we read about Jonathan and David and have even the hint of a wonder if they were homosexuals. It’s an indictment of our dirty minds more than any dirty friendships.

Such were once ours, but we have been washed, we have been justified, we have been sanctified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.

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About B Treece
loved by God before I ever loved Him, saved by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone by the authority of the Bible alone to the glory of God alone, made to enjoy Him forever, happily married with wonder-filled children.

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