Son, Girls Aren’t Your Toys

Ten Things I Wish My Dad Had Taught Me, Pt. 3:
Son, Girls Aren’t Your Toys

The Problem
Boys quickly get the idea that the world is their muddy oyster. Not only are we deceived into believing that the world spins around our giant personalities, we even get to ruin it as we please. So dads ought to teach their boys servanthood and humility in general, but, in our day, especially with regard to ladies.

Without such teaching, boyhood, young manhood (wrongly termed, “adolescence”), and grown manhood spin wildly into slothfulness, narcissism, and carnality. My young life sure did. To my shame, I found all kinds of ways to make my relationships with young women center on me.

So, boys, young men, grown men, girls aren’t your toys. Women image forth our Creator in special ways that men don’t; and they are valuable to Him, first and foremost. To play with them in manifold ways is to take God for a joker and a sloth. He is neither.

Further, to begin such misogyny at a young age amounts to training in the kind of false manhood currently plaguing our country. Our incredibly high rate of violence against women, our holocaust against the unborn, our other violent and cruel acts against children, as well as the untold number of broken families, fatherless children, broken relationships, and emotionally battered women, can all be traced back to grown boys treating women as toys.

Be A Gentleman
To be even clearer, young men and grown men ought to always walk in such a way as to honor and protect women, even females who are total strangers. With this posture at the beginning of a relationship, it is much more natural to remain a gentleman once any sort of friendship or romantic relationship begins. Further, a gentleman ought never to put himself, by words, actions, or even placement in a room, in a position to offend, embarrass, or degrade a woman.

This would absolutely exclude standard man-child practices toward women like:

  • insults and name-calling
  • yelling and general bossiness
  • harsh grabbing and “petting”
  • any angry “silent treatment”
  • dis-communication and vagueness
  • inappropriate, immoral, and/or crude talk, writing, or texting
  • avoidance of proper responsibility and commitment (I’m looking at you, lifetime “players”)
  • slothful, lazy behavior when active service is needed

In other words, be a gentleman. Find out about a lady, what her interests are. Learn to support her in the callings God has given her. Encourage her to grow in the grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ. Learn how to spend time just having fun in a group, and later just the two of you. Enjoy serving alongside one another. Laugh, have serious conversations about things bigger than the two of you, and don’t dwell on physical/sexual matters that have no place before marriage. She’s not your toy.

These things must be so because both men and women are God’s creation. We image forth God! God Himself! He is supreme, and supremely valuable! So our lives ought to reflect His glory, His Son, His character, particularly in holy love. And in this our days are numbered in this life; don’t waste them.

By God’s grace, women are beautiful, intelligent, resourceful, funny, kind, and generous in special ways. But, boys, they aren’t your toys. They aren’t meant to be spent, but served. They aren’t to be consumed, but cared for. They aren’t for loathing, but truly loving, in the kind of self-sacrificing love that Jesus Himself lived out for His bride.

Ten Things I Wish My Dad Had Taught Me

  1. Son, You’re Going to Get Dirty
  2. Son, Get Ready to Take on a Load
  3. Son, Girls Aren’t Your Toys

About B Treece
loved by God before I ever loved Him, saved by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone by the authority of the Bible alone to the glory of God alone, made to enjoy Him forever, happily married with wonder-filled children.

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