Marriage for the Waiting

Vaughan Olman of Perserveronews.com writes “True Love Doesn’t Wait,” an interesting exposition of and response to Gracefortheroad’s popular memoir, “I Don’t Wait Anymore.” Olman and Grace harmonize on a singular point well: the “True Love Waits” movement, complete with chastity rings and holiness-for-husbands roads, misguide teens (particularly young women) into thinking that it’s better to wait for the perfect husband than simply marry a Christian man as early as possible.

As early as possible, as in, “Not later. Now. As soon as the “burning” starts and you are of age, get married.”

As Ohlman quotes, Martin Luther makes this point well:

To sum the matter up: whoever finds himself unsuited to the celibate life should see to it right away that he has something to do and to work at; then let him strike out in God’s name and get married. A young man should marry at the age of twenty at the latest, a young woman at fifteen to eighteen; that’s when they are still in good health and best suited for marriage. Let God worry about how they and their children are to be fed. God makes children; he will surely also feed them. Should he fail to exalt you and them here on earth, then take satisfaction in the fact that he has granted you a Christian marriage, and know that he will exalt you there; and be thankful to him for his gifts and favours.

At the end, Ohlman ties it all together:

True love doesn’t wait. It marries.

If we as believers make that our message, things could be drastically different for a lot of girls wondering why the God they think they learned to follow doesn’t compute.

[Grace for the Road] It doesn’t necessarily stop the desire for a husband or end all feelings of loneliness, but it does show a God who provides, loves and gives infinite purpose even to our singleness rather than a God who categorically denies some who pray for husbands while seemingly giving freely to others.

Our culture, our church, our fathers, have placed our young women, especially, in the position of blaming God for a fault of the church. They were taught to wait, to pray. And then, when the husband they were praying for didn’t come, they were taught, and taught each other, to be content… to find contentment in Christ instead of a husband.

That’s good stuff. Or, rather, it would be good if it were true. If getting married was really supposed to be a thing of waiting and praying instead of a going and doing. I don’t blame these young ladies, I don’t blame this young lady. But I do blame those that failed her. I blame us. We taught her, we taught them, that true love waits.

But true love doesn’t wait. It marries.

So what are our local churches, propelled by gospel love, doing to make this understanding become an expanding reality for our young people? How many would have been saved years of heartache, trouble, doubt, and unbelief in Christ were we to simply teach the Scriptures?

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About B Treece
loved by God before I ever loved Him, saved by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone by the authority of the Bible alone to the glory of God alone, made to enjoy Him forever, happily married with wonder-filled children.

3 Responses to Marriage for the Waiting

  1. Wow. Thanks for the post/reference. I have also written a couple of books on the subject (free) and way too many posts etc. I would love feedback from your readers. And I would really love it if we could get thousands of our young people married.
    God bless.

    • B Treece says:

      Amen to that. I should have included in the post my great love for your simple exposition of marriage from the Bible.

      Sola Scriptura for Sola Deo Gloria,

      Britt
      crossonmyback

  2. A sequelish post posted, would love your comments:
    “When I was a kid ‘Real men…’ was a popular phrase. ‘Real men don’t eat quiche,’ ‘Real men don’t wear pink,’ ‘Real men don’t cry…’ But real men are also called. Called to do things. Commanded to do them. Urged to do them. Blessed for doing them. Real men obey God. These are men acting in their ultimate reality as created beings who seek to do everything God desires them to do.”

    http://www.perseveronews.com/real-men-marry/

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